Disclosure

DISCLOSURE 
by Khari D. Hawke
who pays the price for an invisible soul? 
what is the lesson in a story untold? 
when will the sun start to shine in the rain? 
why does my heart seem to bleed with such pain? 

after school memories of hurt & shame 
didn't know the rules yet i still played the game 
feeling very different cuz i thought i was unique 
conflicted by eroticism attracted to mystique 

god was my witness to a pedo-phallic crime 
betrayed by the bible & the weed & your time 
seduced by a touch that demanded complicity 
cleverly disguised by your insensitivity 

felt my 92 yr-old great-grandmother's spirit 
yelling "boy where is you at? 
get yo black ass back up in this house 
fo i whoop you with this here strap!" 

if curiosity kills the cat 
then this mouse is ready to run 
what began as a harmless adventure 
ended up for me with no fun 

my innocence slowly shattered 
though my rebellion stayed intact 
violating my pure & loving spirit 
was the complete & finishing act 

you led me to your bedroom 
directing my fearful move 
changing the script to feed your dis-ease 
so you can get your groove 

a child is still a child 
no matter what the age 
you cannot steal from god 
the father rules the stage 

but still the show went on 
the lights begin to dim 
my conscience silently wondered 
is this a deadly sin? 

this game is not for kids 
the rules don't make much sense 
what happened to all of the laughter 
i just cry, does that mean: you win? 

a darker cloud of confusion 
has enetered my mind again 
afraid to breathe or move or scream 
i prayed for this nightmare to end 

people used to say i was funny 
yet i neva got the joke 
saturdays i like to watch cartoons 
he made me lay still as he stroked 

he demanded i never tell anybody 
said "specially not your momma, ok? 
here's $5 & a pack of KOOL cigarettes." 
all i could do was just pray. 

i heard miles blowing freestyle 
seductive & oh, so cool 
you would play the lover 
i would play the fool 

the atmosphere was ugly 
the tension was rather thick 
but you were 
just another trick 
who was 
sick 

for some little boy's dick.