The Plea Of The RED DRESS

The Plea Of The RED DRESS

by Khari D. Hawke

stained.... 

I stay in love with you because I... 
meditate in the closet on how wrong I may be while I... 
dwell deep on chances -- perhaps you feel as full as I... 
am & everytime you reveal yourself by doing something that... 
illustrates your less than worth 2 me I... 
look beyond it... 
is in that very moment you somehow get thru by surprising me with... 
more than hope & it... 
is in that very moment I am won. 
With you..to win, is to lose. 
Lose the argument with myself that you weren't created for me. 

A second chance to breathe, twice the chance to see clearer. Still I.. 
don't give a fuck how 
many gyms I joined, or how many hair styles I buy [bought], how many times I... 
cut my hair deceived I had another chance. 
how many glasses of wine I pour with friends... 
I still go to bed at night going over ev-e-ry sin-gle de-tail. 
Wondering what I did so wrong...ly 
when I.. 
could've turned the car around...if I... 
should've turned at all or.. 
If the turn I made was right &... 
how in the hell for that "brief moment" I can consider the first half of my life "blissful"...NOT KNOWING YOU. 
As absent as i may be I... 
sit stiff [fucked over & over & over & over &...] and convince myself that one... 
day the life I lived before you followed fate across me will show up again. 
And I will know these demons no more... 

Signed, 
"that-little-red-dress-you-wore-a-couple-times-stained-and-threw-away"